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I am a boring person by nature, and a little uptight. Maybe too uptight. I acknowledge that fact, and for the longest time, my family and friends accepted it without question. I just like peace and quiet, and I avoid parties and crowds, as well as general crazy behavior. What can I say? I am a boring person.
I am not saying I don't do crazy things; I will if I'm pressured enough and convinced that there will be no (apparent) consequences, but now my family is kicking it up a notch and telling me I have to change and be more outgoing. I'm always working, and when I'm not, I lock myself in my room and spout the excuse "I'm tired, don't bother me," over and over again. I can see why others would want me to change that, but I can't be pushing my body to the brink. I really am tired when I say I'm tired.
Then comes the confliction. I don't like being tired. I like having fun. I am a boring person, yet I like having fun, and I'll take any chance for fun the moment I see it. But I can't when I'm tired. I need to work. I need the money. Sooooo...
Everyone has been telling me to ditch work. "Enjoy yourself! You work too much!" Woke up to that yesterday, woke up to it today. And I did ditch work to watch a movie with my friends last week, but I told them it was the ONLY time I'll do it. I can't be ditching work. Yet... everyone wants me to, for my own sake.
I want to, I won't lie... I'm tired of being tired.
Hey, it makes sense!
I am not saying I don't do crazy things; I will if I'm pressured enough and convinced that there will be no (apparent) consequences, but now my family is kicking it up a notch and telling me I have to change and be more outgoing. I'm always working, and when I'm not, I lock myself in my room and spout the excuse "I'm tired, don't bother me," over and over again. I can see why others would want me to change that, but I can't be pushing my body to the brink. I really am tired when I say I'm tired.
Then comes the confliction. I don't like being tired. I like having fun. I am a boring person, yet I like having fun, and I'll take any chance for fun the moment I see it. But I can't when I'm tired. I need to work. I need the money. Sooooo...
Everyone has been telling me to ditch work. "Enjoy yourself! You work too much!" Woke up to that yesterday, woke up to it today. And I did ditch work to watch a movie with my friends last week, but I told them it was the ONLY time I'll do it. I can't be ditching work. Yet... everyone wants me to, for my own sake.
I want to, I won't lie... I'm tired of being tired.
Hey, it makes sense!
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A Little Freedom
My dad has finally given me the responsibility of driving the van around to wash carpets. I've never driven it before since he always had my brothers do the driving, but they quit last week and we were left without options.
Can't say I mind it. I was uneasy driving at first, but after a few trips to the gas station and back, the fear was lifted. What I don't like is driving without a license. Yeah, I still don't have my license, and I could have had it if my car hadn't broken down before moving out of my mom's. Now I have to buy a new car and to do that, I need to work, which includes driving without a license. There's always some complicati
Square One
Aw, man. I haven't written in my journal for a good year now. I've had so much happen these past months and not once did it cross my mind to write it down on paper. I need to start getting into the habit again. Writing was my best escape on lonely days, and I've let the hinges rust.
Where to start, where to start... I've had many good, bad, and thoughtless moments pass. Over these past years, I've been emotionally drained and I can't say I expect certain events to happen in my life anymore. I don't expect others to be there for me. My plans either happen, or they don't. I'm taking things as they come, and if I see no better alternative, I'll
Comment and I will...
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
2. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
3. Associate you with something random: a song, a color, a photo, etc.
4. Tell you a memory of you that I try to remember.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you what I'd do if we were in the same room right now.
7. If you and I are handcuffed together in a cop car. Using only 3 words, what I would say to you.
8. In return, you must post this in your journal.
An Apology
My mom woke me up today with an apology for what she said two nights ago. I am... somewhat relieved.
I had given her the silent treatment all day yesterday, and I skipped morning work yesterday and today. I just sat in my room doing nothing. I didn't clean the house, didn't feed the animals, and when she asked me to pay some of her bills for her, I blew her off and told her to do it herself. It was the only way I could make her see how important I am to her, even though it was painful to do so. Funny that it only took one day to make her see that, right?
I'm still tired of this. She's always criticizing me and comparing me to other people,
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Comments4
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I know what it feels like to have no spare time, and to be working constantly man. Why don't just ask for some time off? Just a few days to do what YOU want to do. And when you come back I'm sure you'll feel a lot better. Everyone needs a break every now and then.